Get a life

Every first Saturday of the month a group of youth and some adults join together to help fight the never ending battle for the unborn children of the world. It's a joy to know that in the short time that we stand with our signs, singing and praying, we could make a difference to someones life and their future child. Even if we only save one child in the hours that we stand and pray, it's one more life that we have saved. Standing with our signs, we experience abusive honking of horns, supportive honking of horns (and yes, you can tell the difference) and wild shouts of foul language. Today was no exception to this.

During Mass this morning we experienced torrential down pours of rain, that didn't dampen our spirits for the Pro-life vigil. Just deciding whether to go ahead with the Pro-life Prayer Vigil was a battle, 'do we stand in the rain and continue or wait for another time?' We decided on the first option. At the conclusion of Mass the rain ceased and we continued on our way to our regular spot, holding our signs and umbrella's, ready for the oncoming onslaught of shouts, jeers and potential rain. Once out at the road we started our prayers and singing and much to our delighted surprise we were greeted with hot tea from the restaurant across the road, this little gesture helped raise our spirits to know that we are being cared for whilst doing the work of God.

We were honked at and abused and also supported this morning, but one particular cry of abuse stood out. With the lights on green the passing traffic continued on it's merry way, in this particular lot of journeying  traffic, a man driving with his children in his car, managed to lean across the passenger seat, whilst driving through the green light and shouted 'GET A LIFE!' First of all, he should of been concentrating on the upcoming intersection, and second of all, should he be showing his children this sort of behaviour? It wasn't what he was doing whilst he was shouting at us, it was what he said, 'get a life'. Now in this situation it has many meanings to it.

'GET A LIFE!' Well, we were holding up signs talking about the value of life, therefore stating that the unborn child should be able to ... 'get a life' outside it's mothers womb. Maybe it would be a good statement to put onto a sign for us to hold.

'GET A LIFE!' Again the all of us holding the signs, have experienced Jesus and His amazing and awesome love that He has for us ergo we experience life to the full and have a life. A life with Jesus, in which we do His work, and His work for the moment is for us to spread the unheard voice of the unborn child.

In his own way, the driving gentleman, may have just been expressing his feelings, as a cry for help. A cry, that he needs to find his true meaning and calling in life. Maybe he was the one who really needed to 'get a life.' He is hungry for his life to truly begin, a life that can only begin with Our Lord Jesus Christ and I pray that he learns what we have learnt about the beauty of  'getting a life' with Jesus.

'Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.'

                 -Blessed Mother Teresa

Sad Realization

Over the past few hours, myself and a few of my close, holy friends have come to the sad conclusion that we are, what you would call: old. Granted, we haven't quite reached the ripe old age where we need to start using walking sticks, bifocals and knitting needles ... although I do like to knit from time to time. We have only just hit the ages of Seventeen and Eighteen and in the rare case Fourteen (you know who you are :p) We have all hit the awkward age of, no longer a child, but not quite an adult. What brought all this on you may ask? Well tonight we participated in what is called a progressive dinner, where we go from one house and on to the next for a different course of a meal. It is coming towards the end of the school year and we are starting to integrate the older kids from the younger youth group, Tahu, into the older youth group, Lighthouse. Over the course of the evening we had the privilege watching the actions and, you could say, the boisterous behaviour of the younger ones. There is nothing wrong with how the younger ones were acting but something there was really starting to grate upon my friends and I. Over a year ago, we couldn't understand why the older Lighthouse attendees were what we would call 'anti-fun', but we are them now!!! I have become 'anti-fun' ... well not exactly 'anti-fun' but wanting something more ... wanting something that appeals to a slightly older age. I love doing silly things and hanging out and making noise when appropriate, but all the time? The madness and craziness just is too much for me. It has come to a point where it is no longer fun. I still absolutely LOVE youth group, but I love the calm, structured youth group. Again probably another sign that I am becoming old :(

The  next few weeks of my life will be life challenging ones, moving on from one chapter to the next, with the end of my schooling life, something that has always been a strong influence and structured constant in my life. Moving to Australia for a year will also be a shock to the system; maybe all this sudden change in my life has brought around this unease. Maybe the thought of the unknown is truly settling in, I know exactly what NET is all about, but it's just so different, my routine will be changed and my surroundings. I thought I loved change, but I guess I was wrong.

"You have nothing to worry about in your little boat when Jesus is the Helmsman and Mary is the Star. Let the storm come" - Padre Pio

Countdown

Over the past few weeks we have been organizing our big events for our fundraising efforts for NET. Today it was announced, to the congregation, that we are having our quiz night coming up. It's all go from now on ... fundraising to the extreme! Granted that today we only sold 8 tickets but people need to get their teams together. From this moment on I have 73 days before I leave to go to music training (if I am granted a place). I have to fundraise $10 per day from now. I may treat myself to a second job :)

It's such a great thing to do, to be able to spread the joy and love of our Lord, Jesus Christ to the youth, but right now it feels like a Mountain that needs climbing before I get there. The day that I can see the sun through the clouds will be a great and joyous day. $7000 isn't a lot of money spread over a year, including food, transport, healthcare etc but right now in less then 3 months that money needs to come from somewhere. Please, if you have room, put myself and the other 4 of us in your prayers for fundraising. In the midst of the cloudy fundraising madness, I know that God is watching and waiting for the most unexpected time and unusual place for me to discover the money. His timing is perfect. I have always been told by my dad that, 'Look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves' ... if you didn't already know i am originally from England so it's not a quote that I put into Cents and Dollars. Even if I can put away a little ibt of money every now and then I can eventually build up a lot of money! Yay, pray for that. God's providence will always come through so, really I should have nothing to worry about, but being in my human state I still do. Fundraising will be a humbling and team building experience for the 5 of us, so it should be fun!

'Charity sees the need; not the cause' -German Proverb

Surprises

Driving, Mass, Lunch, Ice Skating, Tyburn Monastery: all the ingredients of a really awesome girls retreat. Life has lately been this hectic rush to get assignments finished, studying started and working extra shifts, but over the weekend I had the privilege of going on a retreat to Auckland with God's Girls. God's Girls is the girls group that I attend at church, run by the amazing Kelly and her sidekick Christine! It was an all girls trip to Auckland, with the complimentary boy, Joseph. I got to spend my weekend with the holiest women around. We set off from church at 7:40, 10 minutes later than we had planned, and took the 2 1/2 drive to Auckland, stopping at The Copper Kettle Cafe for a rest. I had the lucky job of driving; lucky until we arrived in Auckland. Never have I encountered so much traffic, incorrect directions and nose bleeds all in one go! First of all I had to contend with the nightmare one girl had of us all dying on the inside lane of the motorway, hundreds of millions of cars (albeit a slight exaggeration), directions to the Anglican Cathedral, not the Catholic one which is where we were headed in the first place, and one passenger having a nose bleed at the stress of all the traffic. We made it to the Catholic Cathedral of St Patrick's, eventually, and found the most amazing shop, one with all the Catholic things you can dream of. If I had been in the shop long I would've bought everything. We went into the beautifully crafted church, and to the delight of us all, adoration was taking place.

The vast ceilings, impressive size, beautiful sanctuary and holy statues all spoke greatness and pure elation of the heavens. It gave you an insight into the beauty that heaven holds, what is waiting for us. Unaware of the time we sat in adoration, and through a mass that we had no idea was going to be on, we were guided to this Holy place in time for the highest form of prayer by none other than the Holy Spirit. We couldn't believe our luck at the opportunity to join God in such a beautiful place. Soon after mass we went to the food court for some lunch, to my immense surprise we past an English Lolly Shop, so naturally I had to drop in, the alluring sweet smell brought me to the good old English lollies, so I bought some. During our planning of God's Girls trip to Auckland we decided to do something really fun that we hadn't really done before, not sure how we came to the conclusion of this but we all decided on going ice skating. It's something that not many of us had ever had the opportunity to do. It's crazy that being in such a cold place you can be so warm. We spent and hour and a half on the ice skating round, trying to look really good (we were the best there ... apart from the figure skater). We all had the experience of falling over, some more than others, myself bring one. I now sit here nursing a very sore, fat, black knee. It was o much fun just being able to relax and enjoy the present without the worry of assignments, jobs etc, but the best was yet to come ...

About two months ago I went with a handful of girls to Tyburn Monastery in Ngakuru, Rotorua, where we got to live out two days of being a cloistered nun, we went behind the grille and went to all their prayers, masses, helped with their jobs, particularly the gardens. We just hung out with them, I have never met such a joyful group of women, so naturally we all got along very well. Tyburn also have a Convent in Auckland and so we ended up staying the night there. We pulled up and rang the door bell, waited ... to my absolute joy, none other than Mother Justin walks out to greet us! In total shock I ran to give er a hug! I was not expecting this. Since going to Tyburn in Ngakuru, Mother Justin, Mother Christina and Mother Joanna have been transferred up to Auckland, Kelly did a very good job of keeping this all a secret! We got to spend time with Mother Justin before she went back to her jobs, we settled into our rooms, enjoyed some really yummy pizza and nun tea! There is something special about tea at a monastery, it just tastes so much better, it can't be beaten! We got to join in with their prayers and just relax. Just being somewhere so peaceful and calm is something I recommend, time out from the craziness of life. Games were played: snap, taboo and a game new to us, Bananagrams. We sat up till 11 playing this, realising that we should go to bed as we were getting up at 4:45 to attend the first lot of morning prayers. We attended mass, and cleaned up. We had to say our goodbyes to Mother Justin through the car window, and off we were home. We sat quietly for the next 2 1/2 hours, from sleep deprivation, I still had the unfortunate task of driving, even with my black bruised knee. 

The trip was an awesome trip that was enjoyable, with injuries, blood, shopping, mass and lots of surprises. A trip that will be remembered by all!

Divine Providence

On Thursday I finally got the long awaited call from NET (National Evangelization Team in Australia). For 3 weeks I have carried my mobile with me, jumped anytime the home phone rang and nervously watched the computer screen as my emails downloaded; but alas the call came. I was at work that night and my phone vibrated and showed a message from a close, holy friend of mine. The message simply stated: I GOT INTO NET ... take special note of the very large capital letters. At that same moment my phone started to ring, incoming call from +61... (+61 being an Australian number) At last the long hours of carrying my phone with me 24/7, jumping when the home phone rings and anxiously watching my emails download are over! I rushed out of the view of customers to answer my phone. The caller was the same women who had conducted my NET interview, an awesome and creative women who has also had the privilege of attending NET for 3 years and is now an important part in the running of the whole program. She started talking to me all very nice and well, I was being polite back and asking her how I was. On the outside I was all calm, cool and collected whilst on the inside I was a screaming, crumbling mess. "STOP WITH THE NICE TALK I JUST WANT TO KNOW!" Here goes, "Katrina, I wanted you to know that..." beep beep beep ...in all the years that I have had a phone I have never wanted to destroy one more in my life, any other time for my phone to break a call, just not now. I stood looking at my phone, tears welling up in my eyes. Fortunately they rang back and gave me the news that I have wanted to hear for the past, slow 3 weeks. " ... we would love to have you join us on the NET team next year." 

I also will be travelling with my two best friends to Australia for the best year of my life where I get to share the joy and love that the Lord Jesus Christ has for every single person. I am looking forward to this opportunity so much that not even the thought of having to raise $7000 for not only me but four other people as well. Most dioceses in New Zealand don't send a single youth to NET but five from one parish! All together we will be raising $35000 for all five of us to go. My Parish Priest gave an awesome homily today on Divine Providence and how it can change lives where it is unexpected. Generosity is the main theme running through Divine Providence and something that with be given back not only one hundredfold here on earth but also in our heavenly home. A simpler way to put Divine Providence ... 'God's will, God's bill.' I hoping that this is the case, with the five young men and women giving a year of their lives to the spreading of the word of God, that all funds needed to get us there and support us through the year will be found. Divine Providence comes in all shapes, sizes and unexpected places.

God gave Himself to you: give yourself to God. -- Blessed Robert Southwell

Sin is Inhumane

I had the privileged last year to listen to an amazing speaker. A speaker who goes by the name Father Dave Pivonka. Father Dave is a Franciscan Priest who came over for the first ever Hamilton Diocese Set Free Youth Conference, from America. He also said a series of 3 speeches at my parish, one of which I was able to attend. He spoke about his journey on the Way of Saint James, a 800km walk from southern France all the way through Spain to Santiago. I was on my parish website and I saw that the talks had been recorded and available to listen to. So, Naturally I listened to it again...

The talk seemed to sink in with me more this time, then the first time I heard it. He spoke about his suffering throughout his time on the journey. He mentioned his 'stupid prayer' that he made. "Jesus, do what ever you want, to draw me closer to you." A very strong prayer to say, a prayer that you say with your whole heart, a prayer that you say when you really mean it. His suffering gradually got worse as his journey went on. He spoke about how all your suffering is for the King, for the Lord, Jesus Christ. One thing that really stuck out to me was, him relating a relatively small thing to something that it is rather significant in our lives: Confession. During the night time he had to wash his clothes, he noticed the difference between how men wash their clothes and women washing clothes. Men just rinse them off with a bit of soap, just to stop them smelling; he just didn't want to smell; women on the other hand, rinsed, soaped and rinsed their clothes again and then do the whole process again; they wanted their clothes clean. We go into confession just not wanting to smell anymore, to go in to the tiny room and have a wash and leave. We should go into confession wanting to be sparkling clean again, clean like the clothes of the women on the St James walk. We don't necessarily go to confession to be clean, to be changed, we go to stop stinking. This really hit me. Do I go to confession to become pure again? No I go to stop stinking, it's not a bad thing but we should go to confession with the heart to change and to say, "Bless me Father, I think I broke the heart of God" God wants us to be cleaned, to be purified to be changed. Sin isn't because we are human, sin dehumanizes us, it's INHUMANE ... we should go to confession to lay out our brokenness and become clean. I just hope that from now on I can go in to confession, not just because I don't like the way I smell, but to become clean again... purified.

Missing Pieces ...

I've previously written about my intentions to live with the beautiful silence around me, and I have kept to that; but the silence has shown me what is most important in my life. Over the past few days I have come to the realization that my family is what makes my day and who I have become. So my parents and I may have little argument of venial things like emptying the dishwasher and bringing the washing in, but lately I have come to know the value of my parents. It's strange coming home to an empty house, and the difference of having 2 people missing from, the house seems colder. I have learnt to appreciate what my parents have done and what they will do for me in the future. I love that they are currently celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary. Its surprising what I  miss most about my parents, the most amazing hugs from my Mum; Dad asking me if I have won anything, even though most things aren't a competition to win; Mum and Dad having their little debates over who has their feet on the couch. It's the little things that I miss the most about my Mum and Dad. I can't wait for their safe return home.

Peace and Love

Lately I have found peace and stillness a great thing. Being in my last year of school I still live with my parents. They are the best parents anybody can ask for: caring, loving, even the nagging of my mum is a beautiful thing as she pushes me to do my studying. They are currently away on holiday celebrating their 25th wedding anniversary, and I have been left in charge of the house, cat, washing and food shopping; I even have a certain obligation to look after the stinky cows. At first I hated coming home to a silent house and not being able to listen out for Dad's roaring chainsaw somewhere deep on the land, or coming home to the smell of Mum's cooking, I have, shockingly, discovered my love for coming home to an empty house to do as I please. Over the 3 weeks that my parents are away I have decided to live in silence, and it's truly beautiful. Okay, so I watch the odd hour of tv every night, but I no longer listen to the radio 24/7. I expected that, during my parents departure, I would live in a messy house, with dirty laundry piling up around me, and takeaways for dinner; but I have taken the opportunity to live in silence, I have kept up with the house work and even done a lot of studying; why it was only last night that I spent 4 hours sat at the dinning room table to carefully study every word of my biology book.

I have always been told that God is found in the silence of your heart, that He can truly be present with you in beautiful silence; I have always thought that this is some beautiful ideal that Nuns and Monks can only achieve through hours of meditation, but I have found it: in my own home. I was always scared of the silence, scared that I may hear something that I don't want to hear, scared that 'something' may get me. It's not true, silence amplifies God's infinite beauty. Silence for your thoughts to flow without restraint, and to concentrate on the creation around you that you so easily miss with noise and distraction surrounding you. Sitting outside the other day, I heard a Tui, the sound of it's croaky cackle turning into the divine song that can't be explained; the sound gave me joy and happiness to hear as it reminds me that Summer is slowly on its way. But the best part of silence is just being present with God, just to spend time with Him in the depth of your heart, to just ... be.


"There is something beyond our mind which abides in silence It is the supreme mystery beyond thought. Let one's mind and one's subtle body rest upon that, and not rest upon anything else.God is sound and silence Attain therefore contemplation,contemplation in silence on Him."

Inspiration to blog

I've finally come to the conclusion to create a blog. I thought about creating one for a long while, just never actually plucked up enough courage to do it. A while ago, I put all my details in, I just couldn't do the smallest thing of pressing the 'create' button. I finally came to the decision to create this blog, from a friend of mine. A beautiful soul, who loves the Lord, our God, in a quiet and wise way. Although she is still young, she holds an immense insight into the love of God. Her inspirational blog gave me the increased confidence to finally create one ... so here it is. I haven't create this to tell the world about my life and the ones I love around me, but to simply write my thoughts, aspirations, hopes and enjoyments into. I hope I can keep this form of expressive creativity up and that life won't bog me down with insignificant things, preventing me to share my life journey, my life and journey with God.

The young women that gave me the inspiration and confidence to finally created this, is a gentle soul, who knows much about life in the Catholic Church. A joyful person who just radiates with God's Grace. There is a limited supply of these women in the world, I have had the amazing opportunity to meet and become great friends with a number of them, women with light in their life, women that help me strive to for Christ in everything that I do. I simply love to be with them, I can be myself, my own crazy bubbly self, instead of putting on a face to become 'normal' in the eyes of the world! I have come to know my 'normal' self in the eyes of God. I just hope to continue my journey  of Faith, with these women, to grow and help inspire others.

"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love."
                   -Mother Teresa