Everyday Adventure

I've been home for quite a while, I leave in two weeks for the next adventure: university. Bring it on! Everything is ready to go, I have even started packing all the random things, like my snow gear, which I currently don't need. All I have to do now is turn up.

I find that I have been waiting for the next adventure to start, when in reality it already has. Here I sit thinking, 'have I treated the last two months as an adventure?', sadly, the answer is no. I'm waiting in anticipation for something to come along and tell me 'I am your adventure, let's go!' Don't get me wrong, I have had so much fun, with my sister being here, working (I do actually enjoy my job at the Wedding Lodge), hanging out with friends etc, but I haven't put my energy into anything in particular.

I'm a feeling person, no, I don't go crying at everything and laughing at anything in particular (although I do find puns extremely hilarious), what I mean is, I like to feel pride and excitement for what I do, and yes, I need to work on my pride. I like to do things knowing I get results out of it. This has definitely been evident in my faith and prayer life over the past two months. I've found it hard, prayer is easy when I can feel and see the difference in it, I even find it easier during the really tough times when I'm tired. Don't get me wrong, it's still very hard but I find it easier and a lot more pleasing during the tough times, than the mediocre. This is where I find myself now: the mediocre.

The past two years, I've been in a situation where it's almost impossible not to grow in faith, knowledge and love, however I finished serving with NET and suddenly I was thrown into the world to survive on my own. NET set us up for this, helped me and everyone else out, had talks, workshops and personal conversations with each person about life outside NET. There really isn't much more they could have done to set us up for the 'real world'. Nevertheless, the world hits you and you're swimming on your own with no arm floaties. This struck me and I became average. I made many excuses, all really pathetic ones. Excuses for the God who died for me.

I put my foot down, it's enough. Shouldn't I have more time for God now more than ever? The answer: yes. So, I picked up a book, an awesome book by Scott Hahn, Reasons To Believe. In the first chapter he writes "There is no shortage of opportunity for study, contemplation and evangelisation. Wherever we go, we are in God's presence and in His world. And most places we go we can take a good book along for stolen moments of study. It's the work of a lifetime." Boom, there's no excuse not to pray, learn or evangelise. Not even the excuse of 'I don't feel like it today.'

So, here lies my next adventure, finding time for God everyday.

Prayers

Pursuing to be Pursued

I have this deep desire to be pursued. To be looked upon by that one person who loves you beyond words can even fathom. To be in relationship. I feel as though this is common feeling among young women who haven't quite found that man.

I've discovered that I feel like this often, especially since I started working at a wedding function center and watch people celebrate love and marriage on Friday, Saturday and Sunday of every weekend of the summer. It's a unbelievable privileged to be able to see such a beautiful sacrament 1,2,3 times a weekend. I think, no, I know I live in the fairy tale world that most females have lived since being a very little girl. 

I sit in my castle, trapped... waiting.

For my prince to come along, slay the evil dragon, cross the crocodile infested moat, climb the impressive climb to my tower sweep my off my feet and take me back to his kingdom on his trusty steed to become his princess.

In reality I do have that man, a man who would do anything for me, supports me and loves me and yes you can guess it... His name is Jesus.

I often forget that Jesus hangs around trying to get my attention when I find myself thinking about what the future holds for that one special relationship. He stands there waving, shouting 'I'm here! Hello!', and I ignore Him, not always intentionally, or I find myself angry, thinking, 'but it's not you I want, it's the other man who I don't know yet.' It becomes a frustrating thought on the future and what it holds, however, in that I find I can miss the here and now because I want to be there in the future with my future husband. I know that Jesus has His timing, knowing when I am ready to be in relationship, but again I often find myself disheartened by this. 

On the other hand, I am learning to be pursued by nothing less than Jesus Himself, how? There's many things I do (and I am no way near perfect at this).  

1. I read books, Redeeming Love being my ultimate favourite, putting myself into the shoes of the characters and learning how to be pursued through books.
2. I pray, every time I feel myself brought down by the feelings of being 'lonely' I pray for him, wherever he is and then continue the prayer for something else entirely i.e. for all Priests and Religious. This way I find that I can turn my sadness into a prayer for something good.
3. Read God's love letter to us, the Bible. Sometimes it's hard to find the love personal from it, but what did God do for you in those scriptures? Live, die and rise for you. I mean, come on, God is very romantic, just read The Song of Songs.

I, and you, currently have THE perfect man for you, whether you are married or not. Jesus is pursuing you, He slayed the dragon (dying for you on the cross), crossed the moat infested with crocodiles (battled your sin) and climbed the impressive tower (made Himself known to you) all to take you home on His trusty steed (the Holy Spirit) to the Kingdom of Heaven to be His princess. He is yours and you are His in sickness and health till never do you part. Praise God! Remember you have Him with you always by your side holding your hand and the right man (or religious order for some) will come along in its own time. Be happy in learning who you are as a single person and cherish every moment of it because in the scheme of life, it doesn't stay around for long.

You are beautiful, adored and ultimately loved by great God who is fascinated by you.

The pursuit to be pursued!

Peace